Keep calm and regulate on...
Keep your cool .. without channeling an eskimo
WELCOME xx
Just letting you know that this newsletter contains a delicious 9-minute meditation please find it at the end.
Thanks for being here x
Nervous system regulation (NRS). Look I don’t pretend to be a professional at handing out any sort of advice. I like writing and I like sharing, so I just share what I do / what works for me. As a single mumma (yoga and meditation teacher) who has a full-time job as an environmental scientist, I spend most of my time trying to keep on top of life by eating healthy, making sure I get enough water, sunlight, and a bit of exercise each day. I created a video recently that showed one way I like to keep regulated with this calming/sleep drink, obviously, I also NEED to connect to nature, walks and the ocean to regulate. But the reality is NSR is about a lot more than just - breathing and getting outside. It really involves getting down to the nitty gritty of what is stressing you, what is triggering you, maybe even acknowledging some deeper older wounds. If you are wandering around with hectic neck/shoulder/head pain (like I used to) this could be the blog for you…
So here is what I know has helped me:
Knowing my attachment style. This has helped me with self-awareness, I personally can be quite avoidant especially depending on the situation. Same with this personality type test created by Myers Briggs, I am ENFJ-T. All this information can help you understand yourself and in turn improve the relationships around you.
Human design is another one. So incredible - I’ve recently delved deeper into human design, I am a manifesting generator 1/3, my recent readings have been so accurate it’s insane. So, I guess the more I understand myself and my strengths and information about the way I interact with the world is very healing. Helping me to make better decisions in turn keeping me REGULATED. I have spoken to the beautiful Diala and the amazing Hayley 10/10 recommend these wonderful ladies.
My RMYD homeopathy emergency first aid kit. It contains several remedies and an anxiety blend that is honestly a game-changer. If you don’t already have a kit in your house 10 out of 10 recommend especially if you have kids. Our little ones get overwhelmed too. (use Aleea for 10% discount)
EMDR mediation. I know I just said that regulating is a lot more than breathing but my goodness when I say these meditations are life changing, I mean it. Any tools to helps guide you through unblocking the subconscious mind are a-mazing. Think tapping and vrrr noises.
Excessive mind chatter and ruminating puts the body into a state of stress even if you realise it or not. *Your cells / brain cannot tell the difference if you are talking about yourself or others* this can also then impact sleep. Daily journaling can also help with this.
Yoga Nidra meditations are absolutely amazing and can actually take you to other places.
Breathwork- (once again regulating is more than a breath but) gently counting your breaths in and doubling on the way out is a quick easy way to center yourself (4/8). Even doing a triangle or square when focusing is very helpful (square: inhale up a side 4, exhale across 4, inhale down 4 and exhale up 4 OR triangle inhale one side 4, hold 4 going down and exhale 4 across)
Visualization. Along the same lines as meditation - closing the eyes and dropping into your body at any time of the day can really help create a calming centre. Even picturing a rubber band going over your body that encases yourself off from whatever it is that is going on. Or imaging a lightly colored bubble gently going over your whole body encapsulating you in a gentle light healing energy.
Self-touch. My therapist taught me to place my fingers in my ears and gently pulling down can help you bring yourself back into your body. Even taking a moment to give yourself a hug can be very grounding. Massaging your own body, in between your thumb and pointer finger is a pressure point. Or just using a ball or roller on the ground and massaging yourself for whatever time you can is very comforting.
Along the same lines is lymph massages, I will talk to anyone who will listen about massaging the big 6 lymphs I try to do it every day in the shower, which takes 5 minutes. Behind the ears, along the collar bone, in the armpits, in the diaphragm / under ribs, on both sides of the groin, and in behind the knees. Lymphs drain toxins the more toxins you are hanging onto the harder it is to regulate. Enemas help with removing toxins too – therefore healing and regulating.
Music, if you are feeling rushed and like you are running around like a chook with its head cut off do not overestimate the power of putting on some chill or lofi beats. Jumping into the car after you’ve just screamed at the kids and a hectic pop or rap song starts playing is probably going to heighten the mood. I put lofi on often to cook or to clean - it is very healing.
I think that the more aligned you get with your values.. with yourself... to who you are and who you want to be the less people pleasing you do and the more boundaries you have. The more you do the things you actually want to do, therefore the more regulated you stay. Only saying yes when you truly want to do and saying no when you need can be a constant juggle. Having hard conversations and keeping your vibrations in check is important too. It takes practice and I don’t think it’s something that needs to be perfect or that can be necessarily perfected. I personally am far from it even with all the tools I have I only recently half lost it on the weekend, (catch me after a big couple weeks and couple days pre-bleed, tired, and bam) but it is what it is. (Nothing some healthy communication and healing conversations can't fix.)
Certain amounts of stress can be beneficial and as animals, we need to know the feeling of anxiety and stress to analyze situations, to make critical decisions. You can’t just walk around like la de da - life is la de dee your whole life, you’ll get eaten alive. I’ll give you this example you get home from work you find that your dog is missing are you going to go naww that sucks la de doo. Or are you going to go holy shit take action and go around the neighborhood and go and find the dog. This is going to put you into a state of dysregulation, activating hormones you need so you can complete a potentially complex task that has arisen. Like animals the natural world getting out of harm’s way is stress activating but it’s either that or ‘natural selection’ right? It is when the body stays in a fight or flight response for extended periods is when it’s potentially damaging to your gut health, your cells and in turn your brain health. I only know from experience as I've spent years amending my gut health from far too much time not looking after myself properly.
There is so much information out there it really is about finding out what works for you and having as many tools as possible at your disposal to help when needed. Another example some of you know I love a good ice bath, I do them regularly- you'll notice I didn’t ‘recommend’ that in the list, ice baths aren’t relaxing, they put the body under stress, and if you are a stressed out, single mum who isn’t eating enough food in the day it's not going to do you much good at all. (Some say how you handle the ice is how you handle stress and learning to put that space in between things is the goal – I like that analogy) What works for some doesn’t work for everyone, everyone is different. Figure out the thing that helps you. Maybe you need a nice warm bath with salts and smelly things and a meditation *nudge nudge*.
I encourage you darling to take some you time and do this nine-minute meditation I have added to this newsletter. And if you have other tips you think will be beneficial to this community by all means please share, and comment – I would love to hear from you.
Find 9 minutes where you will not be interrupted early morning or late evening. Before starting find a comfortable position either seated or preferably lying down and enjoy x